Motherhood isn't glamorous

I "knew" that before I had kids... but I really had no idea. :)

I had "one of those days" a few Sundays ago (February 26)... and when I shared it with a few people, they encouraged me to write it down because it would be funny someday.

Here goes.

My husband Joe has been doing pulpit supply at a church in town.  Basically he preaches on Sundays because they are in-between pastors for a season.  We have enjoyed our time there and were excited for them as they announced they had hired a pastor... so this particular Sunday would be Joe's last Sunday preaching for them.

The night before, Joe suggested that I stay home with the kids and rest because I was really tired.  I laughed because it wouldn't really be rest... and told him I wanted to go support him on his last Sunday.

Ezra (of course) slept in... long enough to throw off his feedings.  I knew he would need to eat around 10, which would be on our way to church (way on the other side of town).  So when he got tired for his mini morning nap around 9:20, I went ahead and put him in his car seat.  I figured if we were in the car he would stay asleep and then I could feed him as soon as we got to church.

Thankfully he slept the whole way - no screaming to eat. :)

We arrived at 10:15 - and parted ways with Joe so he could prepare for service.  I normally sit in the back row with Avery and Ezra so I can slip out to the cry room when it's time to feed Ezra.  Avery likes to stay in service during the music.  This time we went straight to the cry room.  I knew that when Ezra woke up, he would be HUNGRY.  He was still sleeping... so I sat on the couch in there while Avery played with some toys. Then we sang worship songs as service started (10:30) - Ezra was still asleep.

Then, Avery tells me she needs to go poop.  I look at Ezra and he's out cold.  It's dark in the cry room so perhaps that's why...??  I made the quick decision to run Avery to the bathroom and hoped we would return before baby boy woke up.  Lately Avery had only been taking a few minutes to do her business, so I risked it.

Well, Avery tried and tried but nothing was happening.  I was antsy knowing Ezra was in the cry room alone (I know, smart move momma).  I encouraged Avery gently that we needed to get back to Ezra.  She kept trying.  I ended up sitting on the floor in front of the toilet so I could hold her hands.  If you know me, I'm a bit weird about public bathroom floors...
Anywho, after 10 minutes had passed I told Avery it was okay, we'd try later.  She INSISTED she needed to go, so I asked her if I could go get Ezra.  She started crying, asking me not to leave her in the bathroom alone.  I felt so torn.  I was stressed because I was just sure Ezra would wake up screaming and interrupt service (the cry room isn't sound proof).  I debated with Avery, trying a number of tactics... finally I told her she could count to 10 slowly and I would be back before she got to 10.  She nervously said "okay mommy" and I promised I would hurry back.

I rushed out of the bathroom and straight to the cry room.  I opened the door and Ezra was STILL sleeping!  At this point I knew if I moved the car seat he would wake up... and I was trying to figure out how I would nurse him AND help Avery in that tiny stall.  I figured Avery would be done soon, so it would be best to leave him asleep.  I slipped into the back of the sanctuary and tapped the shoulder of a nice older lady that had been handing out bulletins.  I told her that I was in the bathroom with my daughter and my son was in the cry room and asked if she would mind telling me if he started crying.  She looked at me like I was a bit nuts (I am :)) and agreed.  I thanked her... and RAN back to the bathroom.

As I opened the bathroom door, I hear my daughter's voice..."TEN. TEN. TEEEENNNN!!" I opened the stall door and Avery says, "Mom!  I counted to 10 TWO times!".  I apologized and sat back down in front of her to help her.  Nothing was happening.

Here's the deal.  With all of Avery's tummy issues when she was little, poop has still been a bit tricky.  She goes through seasons where she is afraid it will hurt, so she avoids it or holds it in.  Anywho, when she says she needs to go, we trust her and encourage her because we don't want to associate any more negativity to it than she already has.  So as much as I WANTED to rush her, I chose to be patient and smile.

Then Avery says, "Mommy please don't smile at me - this is serious."

Ha.

I was a sweaty mess by this point... my body was telling me I needed to feed Ezra, I just knew he was going to SCREAM, and Avery wasn't anywhere near accomplishing her goal.  Oh and I was sitting on the bathroom floor.  Every time the door opened, I knew it was going to be the lady telling me my son was disrupting service... but it wasn't.

Finally, it was.  I hear "Ma'am, your son is awake and crying.  I tried to rock the car seat but that made him more mad." I tell her (through the stall as I'm sitting on the floor) that yeah, he's SUPER hungry (since he's gone an hour over what he normally does)!  She offers to go get him and I thank her, then realize I need to go get the timer from the cry room as well (I use an itzbeen baby timer to keep track of everything - it's my brain)... so I tell Avery to count to 20 and I'll be back with Ezra.  She starts to burst into tears, so I have to (quickly) calm her and make her focus on counting... she starts counting, so I RUN to the cry room.

Pretty sure I was dripping sweat.

I open the cry room to grab Ezra and get the timer out of the diaper bag... and see that there's another mom in there with her son.  I see the toys strewn about - that my daughter had gotten out.  Usually we're the only ones in there.  I quickly apologize to the woman and tell her that we'll be back to pick up toys, but I have to get back to the bathroom.  I get another look like I'm nuts. :) I run out.

Thankfully, this time I hear "19. 20." as I open the door.  Whew.  A lady leaves the bathroom as I walk in talking to Avery.  She looked at me like she was surprised I would leave my little girl in there alone - and was probably weirded out at the little voice counting as she tried to do her thing... ha.

That lady had left the door to the handicapped stall open... and lo and behold I saw it.  A toddler potty chair!  I asked Avery if she wanted to move to that potty and she got excited.  I thought "yes, this is it!".  So I set Ezra (in his car seat) down inside that stall.  Thankfully, he wasn't crying hard, just whimpering.  I knew he had to be incredibly hungry.  I picked Avery up and moved her over to the little potty.  Got her settled and got Ezra out, sat on the floor in that stall, and started nursing him.

So now I'm feeding Ezra while letting Avery hold on to one hand to "help" her.  She sure is trying hard... but nothing is happening.  Then she gets annoyed that she can't hold her dress up.  I had been holding it for her but I couldn't with one hand.  She insists on taking off her dress.  So I help her (with one hand) get it untied and unbuttoned.  So my sweet daughter is sitting on this toddler potty, stark naked except for her sparkly silver shoes.  I'm sitting cross-legged next to her, holding her hand and feeding Ezra.

Then... out from under my knee... crawls a spider.  Yeah.  It wasn't huge but wasn't small - about the size of a quarter.  Avery freaks out and starts yelling "MOM THE SPIDER IS GOING TO EAT MEEEEE!" (mind you my daughter has not been afraid of spiders before this moment).  I couldn't really step on it, and I couldn't reach the toilet paper to grab some to squash it.  So I flick it away from us.  I showed him.

I didn't get the spider far enough away when I flicked it.  Wasn't a good flick.  Ugh.  We could still see him outside the stall door, on the floor.  I definitely couldn't reach him now.  He wasn't moving, though, just sitting.  Avery was still crying that he was going to eat her.  I tried to calm her down - nothing was working.  Did I mention I was sweating?? :) Finally, I found something that worked.  I told Avery that the closest thing to the spider was her elbow and that there's no way the spider could get her... because of the strong bone in her elbow - he couldn't bite that bone.  She had been excited about bones lately and for some reason, that calmed her.  She kept her elbow pointed towards the spider and we were able to focus back on the task at hand.

Then the lights in the bathroom go off.  It was pitch black.  Apparently they're triggered by a motion sensor and only stay on so long.  Avery started crying about the spider because she couldn't see him.  I'm still nursing Ezra... so I couldn't just hop up.  Thankfully my little mommy-baby timer has a nightlight on it.  I turn it on so I can see a little bit, then somehow manage to get up (with Ezra still eating), open the stall door, and wave my one free arm wildly until the light came back on.  Whew.  Avery pointed her elbow again and we were all good.  Well, she still hadn't made progress...

I finish feeding Ezra and realize it wasn't too bright of me to grab the timer and not the whole bag.  I was just in a hurry before, I guess.  I tell Avery to count to 10 and I'll be back.  We have to go through the whole reassurance thing AGAIN.  Finally, it's okay for me to go.  I took Ezra with me, grabbed the diaper bag out of the cry room (got another funny look :)), and rushed back to the bathroom.

I lock us in the large stall again, and lay out a changing mat for Ezra.  I change him, while trying to hold Avery's hand so she can push (not an easy task).  I get him all dressed again and let him lay there since he's happy.  Then I was able to give both my hands to Avery for some pushing.  STILL nothing.  I start the conversation yet again (probably the 15th time) about maybe getting dressed and trying later.  She freaks out and we abandon that idea.

Ezra decides he'll be a team player and fill his diaper... to overflowing... to blowout.  A mess.  So I have to let go of Avery, get him all cleaned up, change him, and put new clothes on him.

At this point I realize it's 10 till noon and service will be over soon.  I tell Avery she has 5 more minutes or we'll get dressed, go home, and she can try there.  I have her count to 10 so I can go see where service is at.  Ezra is still happy on the (bathroom - ugh) floor so I leave him with Avery - that helps her be okay with me leaving.  The congregation is singing, so it's near the end.  I go back to the bathroom, give Avery a 3 minute warning, and load up our stuff.  I'm holding Ezra now - you know, just chilling in a bathroom stall.

Three minutes is up.  Avery starts crying, insisting that she REALLY has to go.  I told her to stay on the potty while I went and gave Ezra to Daddy so I could come back and help her.  Went through the assurance stuff and got her to count to 20.  I take Ezra and try to rush toward the sanctuary.  Service was out, though... and everyone there is so nice.  People kept trying to stop me to thank me for our time there and so on and so forth.  I felt rude as I quickly thanked them and kept moving.  As I made my way to the front of the sanctuary I'm counting in my head, knowing that if Avery hits 20 and I'm not back she'll scream. :) I see that Joe is in serious conversation with someone... and a sweet lady steps in front of me and compliments Joe and our family and thanks us.  She was so nice, telling me how much she would miss us and miss Joe's preaching.  I'm sweating and counting, trying to focus on her words.  Finally I burst out, "I'm so sorry but my daughter is in the bathroom trying to poop and probably freaking out because I'm not there and I was just trying to give Ezra to Joe really quick so I can get back there and take care of her and I really want to talk to you but would you mind waiting for me to come back?" She was surprised and then said, "would you like me to hold him for ---?" I didn't let her finish her sentence.  I said thank you so much and handed Ezra to her, turned and ran.

I got back to the bathroom and I can hear Avery from outside "MOOOOMMMMYYYY!  I counted to 20 THREE times!!  WHERE ARE YOU???"  Awesome.  I go in and she says, "Oh mommy thank you so much for coming back!" like I hadn't every time before that... ha.  She asked if I gave Ezra to Daddy and I said no, that I had given him to a lady.  Avery asked who and I said... "well, I don't know her name but I'm sure she's nice and Ezra likes her." Ha.  I had just realized I had no idea who I had handed him to. :)

I finally (through tears and apologies) got Avery to get dressed and told her we would try again at home.  She was sad and felt embarrassed that she hadn't gone.  I encouraged her and told her it was all right, we just had to go.  I carried her out of the bathroom (as she still shed some tears), and we were bombarded with people on the way to the sanctuary.  They are all so sweet to Avery and wanted to say bye to her and talk with her.  She was not in the mood.  She started crying harder and asking for Daddy.

We finally made it to the front of the sanctuary and I look around... the lady I had given Ezra to was nowhere in sight.  I had a half-second of panic, then I saw another lady holding him.  Whew.  She handed him to Joe, and Joe came over to us.

He said, "Hey hon - what did you think of service today?"

I started to laugh because I wanted to cry and asked if we could just go home.  He had no idea I had spent the last 2 hours in the bathroom. :)

Oh - I did take one picture on my phone during all this... here's our little set-up in the big stall:

That's Ezra's "backup" outfit, not his original church clothes. :)

Motherhood is far from glamorous... and though every day isn't like this (thankfully), we've had our fair share of "interesting" days. :) I wouldn't trade these two amazing blessings for anything... no matter what kind of days we have.